I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
