Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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