did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
