You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
