I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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