I just pynch a tree in the face
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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