I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
