I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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