when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
