i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
