So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
