We're facebook friends in real life
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
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i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
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I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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