Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
