Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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