I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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