i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
