I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
