i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
