Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
