There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize