She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
