May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
