He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
