I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
