I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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