Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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