I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize