If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
