You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
