I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
