When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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