Tell her she can't have a vagina
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
