Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
only if we run a train.
done.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
