Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
