You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize