Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
