so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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