My hand turned me down
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i think my cat just said my name.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
