I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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