found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I looked at my own cervix.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
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He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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