honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize