You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
And then he peed in my hair
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