is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
