is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize