you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
