It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize