my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
