So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
