Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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