Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
