I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
so much tequila, so little girl.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
