why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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