Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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