there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
