pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
