Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
