All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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