there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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