You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
