some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
