Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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