I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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