Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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