Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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