i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
