Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize