doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
