the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
